A mari usque ad mare. Latin translation – from sea to sea.

“Et dominabitur a mari usque ad mare, et a flumine usque ad terminos terrae.” Or,  “He shall have dominion also from sea to sea, and from the river unto the ends of the earth.” ~ Psalm 72:8

Psalm 72 – a psalm of Solomon. This is the last Psalm in the second Book, and the Psalm itself ends with the phrase “This ends the prayer of David son of Jesse”. I was just goofing around bored and looking on the internet at Latin quotes and their English translations. On little fact that really stuck with me was that this phrase, “Et dominabitur a mari usque ad mare, et a flumine usque ad terminos terrae” is the National motto of Canada. WOW. I can;t even begin to describe how affected I was at reading this. Here is an entire nation defined by the power and the glory and the presence of God. How is it that we as singular citizens of this Earth can go about our daily lives fearing, and worshiping, and praying to God – and at the same time never profess our faith? And yet here is an entire nation that procliams not only His name, but His power, and His eternal glory. I’ve definately been trying to spend more time with my Bible lately, and I was unmistakably touched by the power and the passion of this fact. Here I am walking a life that I have given to Christ, when I’m sure not everyone knows I’m Christian, or knows my story. And I have come face to face with a person, a group of people, an entire nation that procliams they follow Christ. Wow, just…what an inspirtation!

It’s been such a long time since I last posted anything. I don’t know if that was because I was just too busy or if I just couldn’t get into the mood to bear my heart. I’ve been having a really rough time dealing with stress right now. Everything seems to be snowballing and I’m afraid of when and where it will all come out. I’ve been crying a lot more than usual too. Walking into the Drill Team locker room after lunch some days I just sit there and cry, and most of the times for reasons I can’t even explain. My heart is heavy and so is my spirit. I find myself in a constant state of prayer, and nothing really seems to be helping. It’s so hard to remind myself to pray as much as possible, that it’s becoming more of a chore than a joy.

Update:  Jan. 27
We’re reading Paradise Lost in English now, and I can’t even explain how much this quote just helped! Funny thing is, the quote is from Sin, personified, talking to Satan, but I can’t even begin to explain how much this seems to emotionally stable me right now. I’ve been going through a lot with being really sick lately, and it’s refreshing to read this.

“Thou art my father, thou art my author, thou
 My being gav’st me; whom should I obey
 But thee? whom follow? thou wilt bring me  soon
 To that new world of light and bliss, “

~Paradise Lost, Milton, Book II, (864-867)

After reading this I felt so comforted and at ease, and I think God really just gave me a huge emotional and spiritual boost that I’ve definitely been seeking lately. I understand that we might often seek for God in the Bible, and through His Word, His voice should be most prominent, but the way this passage spoke to me, even if it wasn’t intended to remind us of our relationship to God, it really inspired me. I don’t have to get upset because reading the Bible sometimes feels like a chore because I can find God everywhere, and naturally it wouldn’t make sense to truly find God when I’m not whole hearted-ly seeking Him.

It’s amazing how quickly God can change our dispositions, when one minute stress and a heaviness of the soul can become almost too overbearing, and the next minute you feel light and free. Thus the power of God, truly truly, Amen, Amen.

This weekend was exactly what I needed. The Back 2 School Retreat was one of the most amazing experiences I have had all year, and I can already tell how much I have been affected by what all went on this weekend. I remember how much I was impressed last year, and was a little skeptical about how this was going to live up to its awesome reputation. I remember all the passion and the love that flowed out on Saturday night last year, and how much I could feel the spirit moving in me.

Got to Joe’s with Becca around 7:30 on Friday night, and we hung out there with everybody for a while before heading over to church. First big surprise of the weekend; Ross was there. I haven’t seen Ross at Fusion (our church youth ministry) in such a long time. He’s always been someone I knew but didn’t really known, and I absolutely ADORE his mother, but I’ve never really spent a lot of time with him, and it was so cool to see him at church.

I was expecting a pump up service and a short message from Dan on Friday night, so I went into the service more excited about going back to Joe’s house than staying for an hour or so. Second surprise of the weekend. Ken Freeman and Nick Thurmond rocked my soul. I can’t even explain how moved I was that night. Hearing Nick sing was one of the most indescribable experiences of my entire life. I was so touched by his music and God’s spirit moving in me that I was moved to tears more than once before Ken Freeman even began to speak. Alright, so this wasn’t going to be just a short worship session, message, and go home deal. I could handle that.

Ken Freeman scared me at first. He was bold, he was loud, and he was really into what he was talking about. This year’s goal is evangelism; something that really related to my life. God certainly knows what I need and has an uncanny knack for getting me back to Him, always.

“Stand ready to help me, for I have chosen to follow your commandments. O Lord, I have longed for your salvation, and your law is my delight. Let me live so I can praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have wandered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commandments. Psalm 119:173-176 “

That has been my soul’s prayer for so long that I had begun to ignore the starving cries of my own heart. Ken Freeman’s message touched me, and his shocking and slightly disturbing way of speaking; his blunt admissions of death and hell, shocked me and most of all made me think. I’ve been so lost in this world that I have been ignoring the people who are broken, my best friends who are paralyzed, and I was walking through life ignoring their silent cries. As the service slowed and 5 – 6 people accepted Christ that night, the high school students were invited to come bow at the stage and pray as Nick was singing. I can’t even begin to imagine the passion and emotion that flowed through me at that moment. As I knelt at the foot of the stage, God’s arms wrapped around my heart and he truly rocked my soul. I sat there for about ten minutes just crying and being moved by Him. It’s an experience I won’t ever be able to forget, and my soul felt so light after that.

Joyful and clean. That’s the best way to describe how I felt after we left the church that night. The rest of the weekend was exactly as I expected it, a time of fun and joy and never ending passion for Christ. But I still can’t get over just how much I was moved Friday night. Our God truly is a God that fights for his children, and never gives up.

So here it is, Dan really inspired me today to start up a blog. I never really thoguht about how much I can influence those around me just by getting on facebook, myspace, or starting up a blog. Here I go, “down the rabbit-hole” so to speak.

Tomorrow begins the first day of a new school year, my last first-day of school. I wasn’t sure that being a big bad senior would really set in until the school year actually started, but I’ve been enjoying the feeling of finally being a senior since summer first started. With drill team I get to work with 64 other girls, some I’ve known since 5th grade, others I met for the first time at our first summer practice. Seniors and juniors sharing a team, sharing a school, it’s not something I was looking forward to at the beginning of this process. But I’ve prayed over this a lot, and God has really helped open my eyes to the idea of coming together. So I’ve been a big bad senior all summer because of drill team.

I can’t get over how nervous I feel about going to school tomorrow. I can sense some serious butterflies about this school year. Thankfully lunchtime won’t be a problem, and I know for certain 2 people in one of my classes. But, it’s still so stressful just to think about.That’s one of the main reasons I love Sunday’s so much, a time of peace and quite where I just can sit and relax. : )